No, it isn’t my 20th anniversary on WordPress. It is the 20th Anniversary of my marriage to George today! 🙂
Being married to George for the last 20 years has been the biggest learning experience of my life. God brought us together at just the right time.
We were both in our 30’s when we met. He had never been married; I had been divorced for about two years. He liked me right away; I shyed away from him, because I didn’t want to get into another relationship. I had just been through a very short-lived “non-dating” friendship with a guy who I thought I was in love wtih, but who didn’t feel the same way. It wasn’t meant to be. I was feeling hurt and pretty vulnerable. George knew about it, because this guy was a mutual friend of ours which made things feel awkward for awhile. So what did George do? He became my friend. A true friend.
Ths was a new concept to me for sure. In the few dating experiences I had had before I married my first husband, the thought of being “friends” with a guy was foreign to me! Actually, it just never occurred to me! I had never heard of it. So in 1993 when we began becoming friends, I was terrified. I honestly believed I could not be “just friends” with a guy and not fall in love with him eventually. Yet, George was not the typical kind of guy I would have ever picked to date, so I felt “safe.” Wow. Yes, I was that stuck in an old mindset that any guy I just wanted to be friends with was never going to become a boyfriend! WRONG!
I am glad to this day how wrong I was! George became my very best friend. He became my buddy, my confidante, the love of my life, and a year after we began dating, my husband. Marrying him is one of the best decisions I have ever made. So today we are going out to dinner, probably at our favorite anniversary place, Gironda’s (an Italian place), and have a great time. I got him something really special as a gift that I know he will love, so I can hardly wait to give it to him! But we always wait and exchange cards and gifts at dinner.
Marriage has not been easy for me the second time around. It took me a long time before I knew that I knew that I knew……I could trust him. Trust was something I was not just going to do blindly after my first experience. It was a hard and hurtful marriage for me (and my former husband) the first time around, because we were both young and came out of pretty damaged pasts. We were not mature enough to want to hang in there and really work at it. It was hard for me to let go of him for a long time. I went over three years without officially dating anyone before I met George. So when he came along after all those years that I prayed to meet the right one for me, I knew he was my blessing from God.
He has suffered through my years of boughts of depression, problems dealing with my family before my parents died, problems we have suffered through recently, and yet has never waivered from one thing. Committment. We both said that no matter what, we would never even speak the word “divorce” to each other, never let it become an option, or even be separated if problems seemed to become too much for us. No matter what, we would stay together and work things out. We have held true to this. I believe this comes from our individual committments to the Lord. It is His strength, His love, and His committment to us that has made us strong. God has always held us close to His heart.
I feel that today we have reached a huge milestone in our lives. These days it feels like a great accomplishment to have been married this long. I find it sad that in our society now, people have such a throw-away attitude towards marriage. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll just split,” they say. Well, I say if you’re going to go into a marriage thinking like that, most likely, that’s what may very well happen eventually! It is a defeatest attitude. If you think you’ve found the love of your life, and you’re going into marriage any time soon, fight to the death to keep it…until death do you part!
In this Christmas season, if you are contemplating marriage, make sure you are going into it with the mindset that won’t quit, no matter what may come. Life is too short as it is. You may as well spend it with the love of your life, and dedicate yourself to a partner who is committed to you as well. Live well, love always, and laugh as much as possible.
After all, it is said that “laughter is the best medicine.” I find it to be true in our lives, that’s for sure!
Have a wonderful day, and give someone you love a hug (and a chuckle or two.) 🙂