My Teenagers Are Pretty Awesome!!

I finished the book I was reading by Anne Lamott called, “Plan B – Further Thoughts on Faith” a couple of days ago. It was like saying good-bye to a new friend! Although, I have plenty of her other books to look forward to, I thoroughly enjoyed this one!

In this book on page 198 she says this about teenagers:

“They want people who will sit with them and talk about the big questions, even if they don’t have the answers; adults who won’t correct their feelings or pretend not to be afraid. They are looking for adventure, experience, pilgrimages, and thrills. And then they want a home they can return to, where things are stable and welcoming. I mean, how crazy can you get?”

Then she says in particular about her son: (I forgot to write down the page number)

“I am not here to be his friend. I’m here to be me, which is taking a great deal longer than I had hoped, and I am here to raise him to be a person of integrity and joy. Besides, the kid you know at home is only a facet of the child who lives in the world.”

THIS IS SO SO TRUE!!! So much of Anne’s book struck home with me. So I thought I would share these quotes. This has been my experience with my teenagers to some extent. I have had long talks with both of my children about the BIG questions in life which has given me insight into their minds. I am so thankful they feel comfortable enough to talk with me. I am not so naiieve to think they tell me everything though. I know they don’t, because just the other day they told me about some things they did many years ago that were harmless, but I was a little surprised. It was funny.

Even though I am still very much their parent since they are only 15 and 17, I can feel my son getting antsy to leave the nest. That’s okay. I am actually feeling okay about it and more ready than I thought I would be when this time came. He still has a lot to do to prepare for it, though, so I’m not sure it will come about as quickly as he is hoping for. We’ll see. Besides, once he IS gone, we will have a spare room to make ourselves an art studio/library!! 😉 That will free up a lot of the crowded room in our bedroom and living room where all that stuff is!

I think both of our children have learned to make good judgments about the friends they choose and other things that will affect them when they are finally out on their own. I believe they are always in God’s hands, I have done the best I can do with them, and He will guide them whether they are consciously following His lead or not. I know He did that in my life. I believe He has plans for both of them, but they will not come about without many trials and sorrows. Those times will be trying, but hopefully, they will learn and grow through them.

I love both of my kids with all of my heart, and they know this. My husband and I used to worry about how they will get through college. However, these days, I am not convinced any more that a child has to get a college education to be successful. I think it all depends on what they want to do in life. I believe they need to pursue their greatest interests and the areas they show the most potential or talent.

In my son’s case, this is writing. He has a wonderful imagination and is gifted in getting it across on the page! His English/Latin teacher loves him. In my daughter’s case, she is musically talented. She could learn any instrument she wanted to. Currently she plays the ukelele. She can do whatever I show her on the piano and remember it. She just doesn’t read music yet, but music seems to be her greatest interest. I hope she pursues it.

It seems that the world of academics doesn’t encourage students to pursue the areas of the arts as much as it used to. The music and acting classes, for instance, are usually the ones that get cut from a tight budget first. I find this sad since so many kids have these gifts to share. I never want to see my kids feel stuck in a job they hate just to “make a living.” However, I know this may happen. It happened to me!

My dad did not encourage my interest in writing when I was in high school. He told me to pursue another area where I could get skills to make a living. I pursued secretarial skills which I am now thankful for, but I spent eight years at a job in my 20’s that I ended up leaving, because I had topped out at my pay scale for my skills. So I left, went back to college, and found that I loved art, music, and teaching young children. Fortunately, I met my husband there and we were married and began a family. It is within our home that God has shown me what areas to pursue. Getting paid for my efforts is another story these days, although He has blessed me with some income for my artwork which I am thankful for! In fact, today my friend, Jill, purchased my last four “Danny Boy” horse cards. Thank you, Jill! I have faith to believe that God doesn’t gift us in areas that He isn’t prepared to bless us in.

My teenagers have taught me a great deal in the last couple of years. I am thankful for them every day. If you have teenagers, look past the temporary times of frustration, and love them for who they are right now. Try not to focus on their futures. Besides, they are responsible for themselves once they are out on their own. We have to let them fail at times; otherwise they will never learn how to get up and keep going! Just love them, teach them, and help them discover who they were born to be.

About whitefeatherfloating

When I began this blog I was simply going to share my writing. However, after being part of the blogging world for quite some time now, I decided to begin sharing my artwork. Patsy's Creative Corner will always have my artwork. Thanks for visiting! :)

Posted on August 25, 2014, in Art Talk. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. How wonderful that Jill bought your last four Danny Boy cards, great news for both of you 🙂 It is so hard trying to make a decent income from the pursuits we love. My son hates his day job but is realistic enough not to give it up as he pursues his music career. I have made some money here and there from my writing but nothing I could possibly live on. As with you Patsy, I also gained secretarial skills which kept me in good stead in both the legal and medical fields but after being laid off twice (office closure, both times) and then needing to be my daughter’s full time carer, I have been unable to work for three years. But that is what propelled me, as a very late bloomer, into my writing career, even though I’ve made peanuts financially from it. Still, we have to keep our dreams alive and keep pressing ahead, right? I know that God will bless you (and me!) as He has given us the chance to seek our hearts’ desires and although it will be a long road ahead, it is wonderful to know that we aren’t alone.
    You are a wonderful mom to your kids Patsy, they are raised in a loving, Christian home and no matter where they go in life, they will always have the grounding you and their dad have given them. I say this to myself all the time. My boys are 31 and 25 and yes, they have had to make their own decisions in life but our bond as mother and sons is as strong, if not stronger than it ever was. They know that they will always be my boys, and Jill is right in what she says above. My daughter at 22 is still at home as you know and faces her own unique challenges being an Aspie on top of just every day life but again, with the love of family and as I pray every day for my kids, I can only believe, have faith and trust that God is in control and keeping us in His loving care. As I know He is with you and your family!
    Great to have you back online, have a great day Patsy 🙂


    • Thanks, Sherri, for your kind and encouraging words. I really have no problem with our kids staying here as long as they want, but once he learns to drive (we haven’t been able to afford that yet,) he is really going to want to get moved to town somehow!

      It sounds like your faith is strong, Sherri. I think mine is, too, and it’s true, we have to let them go and let God guide them into the life He wants for them. But yes, as you said, it is best to always have a “day job” while pursuing your dreams.

      Have you ever read a book called “A Broom of One’s Own” by Nancy Peacock? It’s great! It is about that issue!!

      You have a great day, too, Sherri! Although, I think you are in your afternoon hours by now!


      • I’ve not read that book. I’ll have to look out for it. It’s the same with our kids, they were never under any pressure to move out but then they get itchy feet and want to be closer to town and the action! All in good time. Off to bed shortly, hope you have a great rest of the day, been great chatting with you today! Catch up soon… 🙂


  2. Aw…you’re so welcome, Patsy! Thank you for sending me your beautiful hummingbird drawing. I will cherish it forever…it’s a very special gift.
    If you’re son is anything like my 24 year old nephew, he might be “antsy” to leave the nest, but he’ll always be his mother’s son. I do believe there is a special relationship between a mother and son.
    Oh, I love Anne!


    • I am so glad you love it. I hope I put enough cardboard cushioning in the envelope around the horse cards! The pieces were thinner, but the cards are thick.

      Yeah, I agree about our son. He is 17 and kind of just wanting to be alone a lot which shows me he is ready to try to be on his own. Just has to graduate, find a job, etc.

      I didn’t know you read Anne Lamott! That’s great! My husband has been reading her books for the last year or so. He already had three of them. I’m finishing up a library book called “A Broom of One’s Own” by Nancy Peacock right now. Then I’m going on to Anne’s book called “Traveling Mercies – Some Thoughts on Faith.”


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